Adult Conversation

 

 

I’ve got another post for you today written by my friend Cindy Holder Poole.  

For those of you that may have missed it in an earlier post - Cindy was diagnosed with Metastatic Breast Cancer and Stage IV Neuroendocrine Cancer. After a very long and courageous fight, she lost her battle last year.  She was a champion for all cancer warriors and gave so much support and encouragement to many of us that are going through similar circumstances. 

Note: I’ve scheduled this post in advance of my starting chemo. The thought process is that it keeps the blog active, and me not having to stress over having anything posted for you each week.

𝗟𝗘𝗧’𝗦 𝗧𝗔𝗟𝗞 𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗦𝗘𝗫, 𝗕𝗔𝗕𝗬……⁣

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𝘓𝘦𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦⁣

𝘓𝘦𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴⁣

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘦! ⁣

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Sex is difficult enough to talk about on a good day but add some cancer in the mix and it can be really tough to start the conversation!⁣

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We secretly like it. We want more of it. It’s an integral part of a healthy relationship. And just when we are finally comfortable within our bodies, we are finally feeling confident, BOOM.⁣

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Breast cancer is especially difficult, as are all of the female reproductive cancers. Drugs, surgeries, chemo, radiation, medical trauma, the indignity of being a cancer patient with all that may entail, can rob us of our libido, and our bodies own sexual responses. Sex can now be very painful. Excruciating even. Our newfound confidence that comes with time has now disappeared. We may feel the unsexiest we have ever felt in our lives.⁣

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There is hope but it requires TALKING ABOUT SEX with both our partner AND our medical team.⁣

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What can be done? This will be a bit breast cancer and female reproductive cancer focused. Hormones are now in upheaval! Those lovely hormones that helped us be ready for knocking boots with our cutie pie no longer exist to do their job! ⁣

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There are three issues in my mind. 1) systemic dryness, 2) thinner, more delicate vaginal walls, and, 3) pain.⁣

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Look for products that are as simple and pH neutral as possible. DISCUSS WITH YOUR DOCTORS FIRST!⁣

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For 1) you must moisturize!! A few times per week apply a moisturizer meant for vaginal use. Replens has one, pure Vitamin E oil, hyaluronic acid suppositories, or a compounded prescription from your gynecologist. No added ingredients - we want to preserve the natural pH!⁣

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For 2) think lubricants! Überlube, Hyalofemme, and Revaree are all recommended but do your homework. Learn which type is best for different situations. ⁣

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For 3), and this may be life changing! Use lidocaine gel before the actual ravishment! Your partner’s performance will not be affected but you’ll be more comfortable.⁣

Seek out a pelvic floor physical therapist. After children, pre- and post- menopause, these professionals can offer much help.

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Now, go talk about sex!!⁣

Until next time… 

This week’s #WhenIDieMakeSureMyNailsAreDone