Troubled Waters

 

 

In early 2023, I had another PetScan done.  

While waiting for the results, I spent time with family and friends celebrating Easter.

One of my most favorite candies of all time is Bit O’Honey. They’re just pure nostalgia for me - even though I really never ate them as a child. I bit down on one, and my teeth literally crumbled. I was so disappointed that I couldn’t enjoy the candy. 

A day or so later, my brother and I went for a drive. While on that drive, I had a brief headache. My vision slowly started to go to tunnel vision, and eventually everything went black. I closed my eyes for a good five minutes, and then slowly opened them back up. My vision slowly returned and the headache went away. It was a rather scary situation. 

Later that week, I had a followup appointment with Radiation Oncology to go over the PetScan. 

In addition to what was going on with my teeth and my vision - I was informed that my gluteus maximus had lit up on the scan - which was very odd, because one does not have lymph nodes there.

So, in addition to the brain MRI that was ordered for the vision issue, an MRI of my butt was ordered as well.  The MRI technician and I had a good laugh over it (what else can one do in this situation?)

The results of my PETscan showed the lymph node in the left lung had cleared up, but now I had one showing up between my sternum and esophagus. A very delicate location. Radiation Oncology had to be very precise in treatment. 

If they happened to hit the sternum, the risk was it would become brittle and could eventually be harmful to me should I ever need life saving assistance. 

If they happened to hit the esophagus, I could potentially have trouble eating. 

I managed to get an appointment with a dentist that accepted Adult Medicaid. The dentist was a fellow classmate, so I felt that I could trust him. He didn’t acknowledge me at all, and I think he lost his sense of humor somewhere over the years. 

He didn’t even crack a smile when I told him that my doctor said I had a hot ass, so I was wondering if I could get a smile to match. 

He did offer a list of oral surgeons and denturists and suggested I just have ALL of my teeth pulled.  But his office wasn't going to help me set up appointments and make arrangements - they didn’t even offer a referral - and that was something that Medicaid requires when being treated by a specialist. 

Did I mention that also during the previous six months I had lost six friends and acquaintances to cancer?

It was also during this time that I started experiencing gastritis issues. Extreme nausea was setting in and my body hurt from top to bottom, front to back. 

I was at my breaking point.

I told my Medical Oncologist that I could no longer tolerate Lenvima. I told him that I would rather die from the cancer than from the bodily pain that Lenvima was causing. 

I asked for some Mental Health Counseling as well. I am usually a happy go lucky - accept whatever comes my way and deal with it kind of person -  but I was struggling with this latest round of issues. 

The Radiation Oncologist just looked at me and said “You know there’s a stigma about people getting counseling”

I looked him straight in the eye and replied “Yes. And there’s also a stigma about people with cancer. I don't fit either of those stigmas and don’t subscribe to whatever others think. I NEED help here.”

The Medical Oncologist did take me off of the Lenvima. And I waited for months to finally get counseling. By that time, I had figured out ways on my own to handle the stress. 

I didn’t address the dental issue. It could wait. I just wanted my body to feel better again soon. 

Until next time… 

 

 

This week’s #WhenIDieMakeSureMyNailsAreDone