The Calm Before The Storm

 

 

In 2018, I was just getting settled into to the new apartment.

The ladies from the church stopped by to welcome me, and asked about my needs. I was as honest about it as I could be - I needed someone to help with light housekeeping because every time I bent overs, I’d get dizzy/light headed and lose my balance.  And because I didn’t have transportation and I struggled with the stairs to my apartment, I needed help in getting my groceries. 

Months went by without any help from the church ladies. My ‘friend’ that had helped me get to Walmart would occasionally help me with my groceries. But as soon as he figured out I wasn’t interested in a relationship with him, he was gone with the wind. 

I did have another local friend that i was interested in having a relationship with - as we had dated each other off and on for a good 10 years back in the 80s and 90s. But he wasn't really interested in helping me run my needed errands. In hindsight, I should have paid closer attention to this red flag, but my judgment was clouded.

After begging the church ladies for help for most of the year - one decided she would help me with my groceries. I’d provide her with a list, and the EBT card as well as the Venmo Debit card (in the event I needed something that EBT wouldn’t cover) and she would go get it.  Our little town was not set up for grocery delivery. 

This lady always seemed to have an issue with something every time she went for my groceries.  One time she was upset because it was mid-terms, and as a ‘professor’ at the university in the nearby town, she just simply didn’t have time. As if 30 minutes of her time was asking too much. (Honestly - I thought the students were the ones that needed to worry about mid-terms, but I digress…)  

Another time, she emailed me at the last minute and said she couldn’t because it was her turn to sit with her father at the hospital. I mean, it’s not as though our scheduled time was set in stone… her email stated I needed to find someone else for that trip. The very next morning someone was banging on my door with my groceries - I wasn’t expecting them at all as I hadn’t made arrangements.

And the straw that broke the camel’s back - It was the Friday before Thanksgiving. I had some special items on my list as I was going to be spending dinner with another cousin not too far away and I wanted to be sure I contributed to dinner. This lady came by and picked up my cards and list. At 4:30pm she called to say she misplaced my cards so she put ALL of my groceries back and informed me I need to contact my bank and the state to have my cards replaced.  I told her that wasn’t going to fly… especially after hours the Friday before a short holiday week.  I told her she needed to retrace her steps.  Five minutes later, she says she’s not had any luck. I asked if she believed in the power of prayer - and if so, she needs to pray she finds those cards - and I would pray as well.  Another 10 minutes go by. She is ready to give up. I firmly tell her no - that is unacceptable. She needs to pray a little more harder and look again with her eyes OPEN this time.  Finally, she calls and says she found the cards. She had placed them on a store shelf. She was at the checkout and would be by soon.  When she arrived, she literally dropped the groceries at the door and ran back to her car as fast as she could. And she never helped me or spoke to me again.

I made a request yet again for some assistance with light housekeeping. Surely nothing could go wrong with that - no cards to lose!  A gal came by to help out, and she helped me twice a month for a few months, but then she said she was struggling with her own personal health issues and needed to quit. 

In 2019, I started having additional health issues. It started out as spotting, but as each month came and went, it got worse. I was seriously confused because I didn’t have the body parts for a cycle to occur. My cousin thought perhaps it was a severe UTI. At the time, the state of Idaho only offered Medicaid to children and pregnant women. There was a bill that had been passed that would include those with financial needs, but it would become active until January 1, 2020.

Once again I asked for help with getting groceries and laundry. This time another lady stopped by. She said she would do my laundry ONE time only, and not in her own personal washer/dryer.  She also took my grocery list and edited it to what she thought I should get and not what I wanted/needed.  

People often wonder why I no longer make an effort to attend church.  It’s the people there that have treated me this way that makes me not want to associate with them. I get that church is not about the people -  but frankly, these ladies are not very welcoming.

On December 18, 2019, I celebrated being 5 years cancer free…. Or so I thought. 

 

Until next time…